You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
