Your tits are I can't wait for
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
