I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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