I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
