I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
