I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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