Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
