dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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