if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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