So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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