Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
This house was built for laser tag.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
