You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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