I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
