East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
