i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
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