the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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