come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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