If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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