this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
