piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
