so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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