found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
