Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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