I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
