So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You ruined the universe
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
