A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
