He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
wow bdsm is so cute
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
