He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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