is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
