i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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