you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
