I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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