so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
