U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
