is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
