We named our party play list daddy issues
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
false alarm, still single
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
