Banned from zoo.
Again?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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