I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
