I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
