the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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