I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
