My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
