I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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