Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
