loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
