hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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