Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Is it because I queefed?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
