You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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