you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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