Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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