The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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