spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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