wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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