In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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