Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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