Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
